Remembrance by Dan Long
Kay Long | July 12, 1939–August 30, 2026
Good morning, I am Dan Long. I want to thank Jennifer Wolf for her input, research, sharing of ideas and work putting this profile together of my wife, Kay. It is not difficult to talk about someone you love deeply and knew well. After fifty-nine years of marriage, I knew who was president of our corporation, who should pay the bills and what side of the bed to sleep on. St. Clare’s has been our faith home since 1967. We have gladly given of our time, treasure and any skills we may have had just as this church family has gladly embraced and supported us and our children, Krista and Erik, over the past many years. Kay and I walked our daughter into this room on her wedding day. One week ago we celebrated Kay’s life in this same space.
It was during her time as Senior Warden that she also led the initiative to establish the Rich Magee Endowment Fund for Outreach and the establishment of an ad hoc Facing Racism Committee. In a letter to our then Rector Doug Evett, she wrote, “In our usual confident manner we were able to organize from within our own parish a questionnaire which stimulated each of us to look at ourselves and then participate in a series of discussions which challenged us to confront the reality of racism around us. I do believe these discussions were an impetus to the eventual growth of our adult education program.” Kay was very proud of both these endeavors and how they reflected some of the priorities of our congregation.
In 1984 our Music Director resigned and took a position in Washington DC. Like today, we needed to begin the search for a new Music Director. Someone had recently attended a service at the Episcopal Church in Belleville and reported that the organist was quite good. Kay and choir member Harry Bowen volunteered to attend a Sunday service and “check her out.” Of course, in a small parish church a new couple cannot hide in the back pews, especially when both are really good singers. Immediately after the service, Kay and Harry were warmly welcomed and invited to coffee hour in the social hall. Lots of assumptions were made that Sunday morning. Remember, this was in 1984. Co-habitation was not as popular then as it is today. Kay and Harry were quickly referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Bowen. After quick glances, both Kay and Harry remained silent rather than try to explain the truth. As they bid farewell they were reminded that choir rehearsals were on Wednesdays at 7:30. Little did the congregants know the incognito “Mr. and Mrs. Bowen” were about to pilfer their very talented Julia Huttar. Kay and Harry loved retelling the Sunday they went to church in Belleville.
Kay was a regular usher and served on a variety of committees over the years, spanning a wide range of initiatives – from analyzing the feasibility of a pipe organ to being a volunteer recruiter with a member of Temple Beth Emeth to seek food donations from local businesses and members of both congregations for the workers building the Habitat for Humanity house celebrating the 25th Anniversary of Genesis. It was a hefty challenge to provide meals for thirty or forty hungry construction workers five days a week. No one went unfed. And the house got built.
I believe it is fair to say that Kay’s most enduring legacy of leadership here at St. Clare’s was her decades of service to the youngest parishioners. Kay taught Sunday school for about twenty-five years, sharing her love of this place, her love of Christ, and her love of music with the little ones. She loved each child as she loved our own children, encouraging them to worship with joy every Sunday, to embrace curiosity, to be kind, and to be brave in all things.
Patti Creal taught the preschoolers alongside Kay, and she shares these reflections of their time in the classroom together. “Kay connected to the little ones through music – it was evident every time she approached the piano that something special was happening. She had a magical gift. And she was such a joyful person, always up for anything with a contagious enthusiasm for life!” When asked for three words to describe Kay, Patti offered four: active, compassionate, talented, dependable. She described Kay as “quietly doing what needed to be done, so reliable that you never had to worry. And her compassion came out the most when she played the piano and sang with the children. A beautiful thing to behold.”
When Kay started teaching Sunday school there was no piano, so she brought her own Autoharp. She did, nonetheless, make it known that there was a need for a piano in the pre-school classroom. About a year later a well-used upright piano appeared. No keys missing. All strings intact. A good tuning and it would be just fine. There was, however, a small issue. Strictly cosmetic. The case was scratched, initials and names craved in it. The piano had seen better days. “That can be remedied,” said the donor. Within days the piano had a fresh coat of paint. Those scars were now hidden from view. When Kay gazed upon the “new” piano for the first time she broke out laughing and exclaimed, “Oh Dear!” There sat the newly painted piano. Bright Barbie Doll Pink. She played on that piano for many years.
Kay partnered with Frankie Simonds to record the first 50 years: A history of St. Clare of Assisi Episcopal Church. It was important to both of them to ensure the details of our founding years were not lost to time. They shared a deep love of this place and this community. You can find a digital copy of their report here.
Finally, Kay was not only a talented musician, she was great with needles and yarn. Like many St. Clarians, she enjoyed knitting and often had her project bag in tow. Christine Cook was very kind to help her finish her last project. It brings me comfort and joy to be wearing one of the many beautiful sweaters Kay made for our family over the years.
Kay’s spirit is here today joining the many who planted the seeds and nurtured the early roots of St. Clare’s bountiful tree – celebrating all we are, all we have become, and all that is yet to be – reminding us to worship with joy, grow in faith, act for justice and above all, love one another.
In God’s name, AMEN