Carolyn Sampselle contributed another moving response to the “homework” from my sermon on March 6: “Consider taking some time to dwell on some of those essential, defining stories from your life of faith, and from your ancestors, your family, your community. How do those stories shape who you are today, how you practice your faith now, how God might be calling you in the future?” Thank you to Carolyn for being willing to share these beautiful words with the community.
I was baptized, received first communion, and was confirmed in the Roman Catholic church. I attended St. Phillips Catholic school for 1st and 2nd grade and considered myself a catholic until I graduated from high school. As I moved on into nursing school and college, while I considered myself a believer, I knew that God was increasingly remote and not really a part of my life. At Ohio State I had several evangelical Christian friends who I loved and respected. With them I began attending Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, but I felt and an expectation of conformity that didn’t really fit for me.
Then I met John and fell in love (not a totally uneventful path, but that is a story for another time). When we discussed church involvement, he, being a cradle Episcopalian was most comfortable with the Episcopal Church. I found the liturgy, Book of Common Prayer, the hymns, and the commitment to serve as God’s hands in the World to be a very welcoming and comfortable fit. As our children were born and we moved over the year—Glen Ellen, IL, Findlay, OH, Gatlinburg, TN, Ann Arbor, MI—the Episcopal Church was a constant in our lives. I confess I’ve never been baptized or confirmed in the Episcopal Church—when we moved here from Trinity in Gatlinburg, Charles Rice sent a letter of transfer with a note to Doug Evett that he was lucky to get us and I didn’t make it clear that I hadn’t received these sacraments from an Episcopal priest. I knew what was in my heart and just decided not to mention my Catholic foundations.
We’ve been members of St. Clare’s since 1983 and I truly believe God’s Spirit is with this church. I was drawn originally to STC’s long-term commitment to Temple Beth Emeth, but have stayed because I so often come face to face with God’s love among St. Clarians.
Just before Christmas, 2020, John had to be taken to UMHS by EMT in severe respiratory distress. Because of Covid protocols, I wasn’t allowed to stay with him and so made a very lonely trip home to wait. To this day, I don’t know how word of his admission spread, but one by one people from STC’s called or texted to let me know that he and I were in their prayers. I had periodic updates from the medical staff as John had to be intubated and his blood pressure kept dropping. Then at 11 pm John’s physician called to tell me that he wasn’t sure John would make it though the night and that I should come in to be with him.
When I had come home earlier, I had been on my knees praying because I’d had to leave John alone. My prayer was, “Please, don’t let him go through this alone.” Earlier that year, Linda Klimach talked about those moments when God takes you by the shoulder and you know you need to listen. Well, in the midst of my prayer, Jesus took me by both shoulders, looked into my eyes, and said, “Carolyn, I love John. I’m not going to leave him by himself.” There was true comfort in those words, but the doctor’s call late that night was terrifying and as I drove down to UMHS, I realized that I was shaking. As I turned to head up the hill to the Emergency Room, I was struck by this sense of prayer like strands of support reaching in from multiple directions—it truly felt like sinking into a warm hammock! And I felt the strong belief that no matter how this turns out, it will be OK.
The nurse told me when I got there that John’s Oxygen saturation was so low that they were concerned about damage to his vital organs. And it did stay very low till around 3am. Then very slowly, it began to creep up. Each time his nurse came in to check him, it was a little higher, until finally it was back to a normal level. She was so happy to see this happen that she cheered, “Yay, John!” By 7am he had stabilized and they were willing to move him to the ICU. The intubation was able to come out the following day, he got steadily better and was discharged Christmas Eve Day 2020.
Thanks be to God, John has continued to get healthier through 2021 and 2022. We’ve been so grateful for the added years that we did not expect to have!
In addition to getting more time with John, I’m appreciating the awareness of God’s greater presence in my life. Having just turned 80, I’m grateful that God may have other things that need doing that I might be able to help with. The need is so great and I know God weeps at the state of our world! I’m praying for guidance that might direct my efforts to help bring about God’s vision for us in this world.